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The Backseat Critics: The Movie Review Podcast
Hello! We're the Backseat Critics: a family friendly movie review podcast.We watch and discuss movies that you should generally steer clear of.Join hosts RJ & Andrew as they dive into the world of movies and see what they say!If you like our podcast, or have any questions/suggestions - send us a message or follow us on Instagram @thebackseatcritics. Shoot us an email at thebackseatcritics@gmail.com.Thank you!
The Backseat Critics: The Movie Review Podcast
Rampage (2018)
Buckle up for a monster-sized episode of Backseat Critics, where Andrew and I, RJ, dive headfirst into the chaos of "Rampage." Without missing a beat, we debate the heavy-hitting presence of Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson and whether adding Charlize Theron to the mix could've turned up the heat. We can't help but crack up over George's sign language antics and even slip in an oddball tribute to David Prowse, the man behind Darth Vader's mask, and his bittersweet "Return of the Jedi" outcome.
As we navigate the treacherous waters of "Rampage," we stumble upon the hilarity of oversized animals and take it up a notch with our own outlandish pitches for giant animal movies. From rampaging elephants to city-crushing koalas, no creature is too wild for our imaginations. But it's not all creature chaos; we also tip our hats to the unsung comedic genius of Jim Varney and the heroic flexibility of Brendan Fraser. Sprinkle in a dash of Sam Rockwell and Gary Oldman, and you've got a recipe for casting what-ifs that will keep you guessing.
To cap off this whirlwind episode, we tussle with the age-old question of what makes a movie just right for family night. Is it a light saber-wielding adventure, or perhaps a nostalgic trip down Mario lane? We lay down our ratings with a wink and even dare to compare video game adaptations, all while keeping the laughs coming. Remember, the next time you're torn between a pixelated plumber and some good old-fashioned city destruction, the Backseat Critics have got your back. Tune in, follow us, and join the cinematic rampage—we promise we've fixed the mic stand for good!
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- Email us at: thebackseatcritics@gmail.com
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Also be sure to follow our friends over at Play No Games Podcast on YouTube. They are also on Instagram @lookhere.playnogamespod.
You know what we're going to talk about today. We're going to talk about Rampage and with that being said, welcome back to the Backseat Critics. My name's.
Speaker 2:RJ. My name's Andrew. And this is a podcast where we talk about movies that you should probably Wow.
Speaker 1:Whoa, whoa, wait, wait, wait, Wait, let's start that over.
Speaker 2:Why? Just because Do you see how much we were peaking.
Speaker 1:Okay, start that over. Why? Just because? Do you see how much we were peaking? Okay, so we're gonna talk about rampage and welcome back to the backseat critics. My name is andrew and this is the podcast where we review movies that you should see clear of. Are you mocking me? What do you mean? I'm mocking you, I'm mocking crap. What's the monkey's name in this movie? I don't remember the monkey's name Jumanji.
Speaker 2:No, we're talking about Mighty Joe Young. Was it Mighty Joe Young?
Speaker 1:Probably no. No Might as well be Same movie. I feel like just one has more steroids and stuff.
Speaker 2:Okay question Would you rather this movie have Charlize Theron in it?
Speaker 1:Yes, I absolutely agree. Why is that a question? Why are we questioning that? Would you rather have this movie? No, that's an automatic yes. Talking to the mic dude? That's an automatic yes. Why would you question?
Speaker 2:that Okay.
Speaker 1:I'm going to, would you?
Speaker 2:question that. Okay, guess what? Okay, I'm going to give you a little question here. Okay, questionnaire, bring it on Boom. What year did this movie come out?
Speaker 1:2019.
Speaker 2:Close 2018.
Speaker 1:Okay, that's close.
Speaker 2:Okay, okay.
Speaker 1:Okay, name three actors in this movie. Oh snap, three actors jeffrey dean, morgan dwayne rock. Johnson jack quaid name four whoa, just because I got three. You didn't think I knew these actors. Come at me.
Speaker 2:You think you can catch me Name four there's no other good actor.
Speaker 1:Name four there's no other good actor in this movie, exactly George who's.
Speaker 2:George the monkey. Are you the monkey? No, George is the monkey. Did she call you babe? No, she called me monkey. Did she call you babe?
Speaker 1:No, she called me Abe. Oh, abe, abraham Lincoln.
Speaker 2:Oh, did you know that Abe Lincoln had a surprisingly high-pitched voice? So anytime he talked it took people several minutes to get used to his voice. So every time I think of Abe Lincoln talking in my head I'm picturing the and so we go to war guy from pirate street. That's what I picture lincoln sounds like now he who walks with bare feet.
Speaker 1:I got you off guard there. You did not expect me to hit you with that. Oh, what should we look up here? Google search and Google fiend.
Speaker 2:Gettysburg Address. Four score and seven years ago.
Speaker 1:So you've seen you.
Speaker 2:obviously Our fathers brought forth upon this continent a new nation.
Speaker 1:Hold on, hold on, hold on Hold on Hold, on Hold, on Hold on Kermit.
Speaker 2:Conceived in liberty and dedicated to a proposition that all men must must, maybe or do whatever they want. Must, must, maybe, do whatever they want.
Speaker 1:I realize I shouldn't probably not be blowing like that, because it sounds like a hookah. It's just really a water bottle.
Speaker 2:Can you pass me my water bottle?
Speaker 1:It sounds like I'm blowing like a hookah.
Speaker 2:I'm so thirsty.
Speaker 1:That sounds like a hookah, doesn't it? I?
Speaker 2:don't know, let me try Like a pipe.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that sounds like a hookah, doesn't it? I don't know, let me try Like a pipe.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that sounds like we're. Oh jeez, I got some splash back. You got it sprayed.
Speaker 1:Anyways, you've seen the top five movie of all time Master Disguise.
Speaker 2:Oh, top five.
Speaker 1:That's a top five movie. For me, it's a guilty pleasure.
Speaker 2:It's a guilty pleasure. I've seen it, I've. For me, that's, that's a pleasure, it's a guilty pleasure.
Speaker 1:Um, that's just I've seen it, I've seen a few times. You've seen that abraham lincoln switch scene. Do you remember? I don't remember. Oh my gosh, I don't they. They go, they call back the history of the master disguise and at one point they do this whole. Abraham lincoln comes out I'll be honest, he's a boring speaker and they swapped out for another guy that disguises abraham l Fantastic scene.
Speaker 2:I'll be honest, I totally want a drunk history of Abraham Lincoln, but with a high-pitched voice.
Speaker 1:Blake, okay, no, no, no, I'll throw you one better.
Speaker 2:I got a quick fact check here.
Speaker 1:Oh, I'm going to throw you one, though I can't throw you something real quick.
Speaker 2:It's an ape, not a monkey. Thank you, Jackal.
Speaker 1:I'm going to throw you something real quick. It's an ape, not a monkey. Thank you, jackal, I'm gonna throw you something ready. What if it was the guy who was originally supposed to play darth vader? His voice during the drunk history james earl jones no, the guy who actually played darth david proulis yeah, I guess he had a high pitch voice, didn't he like?
Speaker 2:That was like a nativity, it was higher-pitched. I wouldn't say it was high-pitched.
Speaker 1:Now you've ruined my whole thing.
Speaker 2:You know he got paid apparently nothing for Return of the Jedi.
Speaker 1:If he was smart he would have said okay, I'll take nothing, but you give me like 2% of all Star Wars.
Speaker 2:So the thing is he agreed to a percentage of I figured it was box office revenue or home sales for Star Wars and that percentage came out to be 0% due to some shady accounting. So to this day, david Puce has not been paid for Return of the Jedi. What?
Speaker 1:actor. Do you think?
Speaker 2:Which sucks Like pay the dude.
Speaker 1:Which actor do you think has the best deal ever in movie? What's the smartest deal ever negotiated in movies? I'll tell you who I think it is after you tell you, tell me yours, tell me yours uh, come back to me on that.
Speaker 2:You go first jack nicholson for joker in batman. What was his deal?
Speaker 1:he got a percentage of the, the toys and merchandise sold for batman, but joker did he play?
Speaker 2:what joker did? He play jack nicholson yeah, oh, jack nicholson, okay, okay, my brain went to jack black and I was so confused jack nicholson.
Speaker 1:He got a percentage of the joker like of the merch yeah, which is fantastic.
Speaker 2:Merch yeah, which is fantastic.
Speaker 1:You know that movie's going to sell, yeah.
Speaker 2:Boom.
Speaker 1:Cut me in. That's probably one of the best deals negotiated. I think he negotiated above what he would have made as the Joker actually.
Speaker 2:I don't know, I don't know of any major deals like that, so I can't speak to that.
Speaker 1:But would you agree that Jack Nicholson smart?
Speaker 2:No, he made a smart decision. I would say for worst. It's not even her fault.
Speaker 1:Yeah, bill Murray as Garfield. No, no, no, no, her fault, her fault, yeah, bill.
Speaker 2:Murray as Garfield. No, no, no, no. Her fault, her fault.
Speaker 1:Oh.
Speaker 2:The worst deal ever made was Shelley Duvall in the Shining yeah, Mental and emotional abuse not cool. That's not a cool trade-off.
Speaker 1:No, all right, but we're going to talk about Rampage here, one of the worst movies. No, I'm joking, I don't know this movie. I'll give my final thoughts. Later I have my final thoughts actually located in my brain, ready to go.
Speaker 2:That's where my final thoughts are what I don't know.
Speaker 1:No, that's fantastic. Maybe we can discover them and deep dive into it as we talk about this movie.
Speaker 2:Yeah, do you want to do like a? I don't know, I don't know.
Speaker 1:One minute summary. Okay, I can do it in 30 seconds.
Speaker 2:Yeah, go for it All right.
Speaker 1:Monkey meets Dwayne Lark Johnson. Dwayne Lark Johnson helps Monkey 10 seconds left. Oh my gosh, that's not 30 seconds, 10 seconds left. Animals take super serum. Dwayne Lark-Johnson, dwayne.
Speaker 2:Lark-Johnson Monkey takes him down. Two, no, you've got 45. You've got 40 seconds.
Speaker 1:All right, a whole bunch of animals. Take the super serum divide. They're made up by this evil company and as this evil company, they were like oh, we need to track this down so we can create super monsters. But it got to dwayne the rock, johnson, secret monkey and doing their rock, johnson and albino monkey decide to fight these evil monsters, take them down and save the world you've got.
Speaker 2:You've got 15 seconds left.
Speaker 1:That's the movie, though you said 15 seconds, okay, so great scene in this movie where dwayne eric johnson is signing with the monkey and he teaches him how to flip him off. That's probably the best scene in this movie. It happens pretty quickly too in the movie too really yeah, that's pretty quickly oh, yeah, yeah, right at the beginning, yeah, yeah um, we're signing with it the the whole interaction between george and dwayne there.
Speaker 1:Dwayne the rock johnson also woman in summer oh yeah, I know we're over, I'm just, I'm just diving you did a good job.
Speaker 2:You did a good job.
Speaker 1:I'm just, I mean, basically that's what it is. Am I wrong? It's, you're not wrong. It's one of those monsters destroy city and monster save city yeah, it's.
Speaker 2:It's very black and white.
Speaker 1:There's not too much to this and there's a good monster and there's a bad monster and there's somehow the government gets tied into it, which is normal in these types of situations I guess, I guess I'll get to it in like final thoughts, so I'll hold on to that.
Speaker 2:But uh, crocodile grows into gin, ginormous monster. Yeah, wolf grows to be pretty big, basically same size as ape, which are both about the same size.
Speaker 1:Now you never, you never play these games, though, no, no, no, no no, no, but this is kind of my problem.
Speaker 2:And I know that there's different kind of serums, but that crocs amped that crocs two to three times the size of both the ape and the wolf.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:The wolf is massive.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:But the same size as the ape, but the ape is larger than the wolf. Starting off, yeah like day one. The apes two to three times the size of the wolf, but they end up they end up being about the same size but then the croc's bigger the croc being about.
Speaker 2:Like I know, crocs get to be about like 15, 20 feet when they're really, really big so that's from like tail, but if you think about they, like the tail like size wise, like like height wise and stuff like that got a fat tail, but height wise, no, this croc began and it looks like a 10 footer, like it doesn't look. It looks large, but it doesn't look like super large when no when it first eats up that serum, but but at the end of the movie it's three times the size of the other two. What did that guy get? Why is it so big?
Speaker 1:I'll tell you what he got. Why does?
Speaker 2:the wolf and the alligator. Get these spiny quills all over them and then ape just looks like an ape. But bigger.
Speaker 1:I'll tell you what he got. I'll tell you what the crocodile got he got the Lucky Charms. Oxycontin. Oh, oh, I was going to say Lucky Charms, marshmallows.
Speaker 2:Oh, those things will amp you up. That will make you larger.
Speaker 1:That will jack you up. I'll give you that.
Speaker 2:If your diet was just Well. Okay, that just happened. I just snapped off part of the mic stand, that's fine, we're going to roll with it.
Speaker 1:We're going to roll with it.
Speaker 2:Forget that piece. You know, if I forgot where I was going with this, you're going to say that.
Speaker 1:Lucky Charms marshmallows give you diabetes.
Speaker 2:If your diet consists 100% of Lucky Charms marshmallows, you will actually get skinnier. There's zero calories, zero fat and 100% sugar in those. You'll have diabetes, but you'll be thin.
Speaker 1:Do you think that if you had a lucky charms marshmallow right that you are? I don't know if you're diet I guess if you eat it you're guaranteed to get cancer.
Speaker 2:Probably that's all you eat oh, I thought you were saying like in general, like no, do you think that like like? Okay, actually no, I should say this if you eat lucky charms in general, yeah, you're gonna, no, you're gonna get cancer. If your diet was straight straight those marshmallows.
Speaker 1:You're gonna get cancer, just dehydrated marshmallows. I feel like it. I don't think so. I think you're gonna get diabetes I don't know, dude, that's a tough call I heard I saw something the other day that since they're dehydrated, that you put them like in the microwave or something in water and they blow up, right?
Speaker 2:yeah, yeah, actually, most marshmallows do blow up when you put them in the microwave.
Speaker 1:Yeah, actually do you have marshmallows here, I have the lucky charms ones like they sell them in, just the bags rj, rj straight idea what let's get some. Put it in a bowl and test this out so you can see how these monsters blow up in this movie.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we'll get a video of this. It looks like a-. All right, let's time out here, let's go.
Speaker 1:Oh, okay.
Speaker 2:What are we doing? We're putting yeah, all right, I don't remember what we were talking about?
Speaker 1:Oh, you're talking about marshmallows blowing up inside the microwave.
Speaker 2:Specifically, I almost said explicitly so if you watched our reel on Instagram, you'll realize that it didn't really work out for us.
Speaker 1:They blew up quite a bit Decent size.
Speaker 2:They blew up, but they didn't like blow up.
Speaker 1:No, I think it's probably. I needed to probably cook them longer.
Speaker 2:Yeah, sweet snow we're burning. We cooked them for like what? A minute and a half total.
Speaker 1:Yeah, a minute and a half total. Yeah, minute 15, I think actually they um minute 15. I think actually they got kind of puffy, but that was about it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, being on no sugar diet, I really wanted to dive in on it, but I I lost out on that I didn't dive in on it you should have I should have um told the people what it tasted like but what I did do was I watched this movie you did, and I got a question for you yes other than which actor would you replace us with? Blah blah, like the typical stuff. We'll circle back to that. We'll circle back to that. What we're going to do is what animals would you use instead of an ape, a wolf and a crocodile?
Speaker 1:I think in one part in the video games they actually do a turtle like a snapping turtle. If I remember right, so there's a snapping turtle in the video games, so my go-to would be a snapping turtle. But I'm going to take that back and I'm going to flip it. I'm going to say ant An ant An ant.
Speaker 2:Okay, I think there's a movie in the 70s about this, like Attack of the Ants or something like that there is Future episode there is. I've seen two or three of them.
Speaker 1:I've seen it Two, I don't know. It was on before Big Ben back in the day. My friend, who I spent the night at, really wanted to watch Big Ben, but we had to watch this.
Speaker 2:Ant movie oh, the Attack of the Ants Fantastic.
Speaker 1:You watch Big Ben? I do not. You know what that's about. I don't About a bear.
Speaker 2:Grizzly bear. Oh, you know what I think, I do.
Speaker 1:Grizzly bear. Grizzly bears overrated. It was over. It was actually a terrible book and it was a terrible movie but so you're doing a snapping turtle no, I'm doing an ant, you're doing. Oh sorry, I can't do a turtle, because the video games already did a turtle, so I can't necessarily do a turtle okay, um, okay, what.
Speaker 2:What other animals you got?
Speaker 1:two others I got two others. Okay, I'm going to say, you know, I'd say like a monkey, but a monkey's already technically taken by the ape because of George. No, not really because the monkeys have the tail.
Speaker 1:They're more kind of athletic rather than like King Kong-y, no, no no, even though we've heard that that's a slang term, I can't go into it. Wait, we saw a plane of the apes and you call them a monkey. It goes off their rocker. Okay, I think I would choose an elephant. Okay, I think it would be interesting to see an elephant grow and a penguin A penguin would be fun. A penguin Would be sliding all over the city with their porky pigs.
Speaker 1:I think it'd be fun to see a big giant penguin, that's I said porky pigs.
Speaker 2:I meant, like their quills, their quills. I don't know why I said porky pigs.
Speaker 1:I would want to see a penguin destroy a city. That's kind of fun.
Speaker 2:That would be kind of fun. I'll admit that. Yeah, Number one, I'm going to koala bear, koala bear. Koala bears are incredibly vicious. I've seen that they're incredibly vicious.
Speaker 1:I saw them attack a kid in one of the videos. A real on Instagram. Yeah, on Insta.
Speaker 2:They're known as tree drop bears, I think, because they drop out of trees and attack you. I know that's a joke, but it's probably true. But let's be real here.
Speaker 1:All right, what else you got? A koala, a platypus. You would choose something like that a platypus.
Speaker 2:They got the poisonous fur. They're laying eggs. They're monstrosities as it is. I love them.
Speaker 1:They're monstrosities though I'm surprised you don't have a pet platypus yet. Actually I'm not gonna lie, I could see you having a plat pat I seem like a platypus type of guy you seem like you'd have a pet like not not a peri the platypus, like I feel like you just have a platypus.
Speaker 2:So I go straight up. Platypus how would I pet it?
Speaker 1:Huh, how would I pet it? You tell me You're the platypus whisperer over here.
Speaker 2:Anyways, I want a large platypus, the platypus-er, yeah, yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, anyways, Anyways, anyways.
Speaker 1:I don't know how else to say that. How else would you say that?
Speaker 2:The Pied Piper. I guess Platypus-er, that's the only way to say it. You tell me that Platypus-er, that's the only way to say it. You tell me that, platypus. That's all you could say. I don't know what else you could say.
Speaker 1:After the us. What else are you going to say? All you can do is er Us-er.
Speaker 2:It's us-uh, platypus-uh, platypus-er All right, it's Usa.
Speaker 1:Podpuss, podpusser, alright. Third monstrosity when are you going with Chihuahua? Get out of here, I'm done. It's like the wolf, but just Strap Inside the house.
Speaker 2:The chihuahua was. What was a joke? It was guys.
Speaker 1:Okay, what did you? What did you actually mean? What was the smoke screen for A parrot? Get out of here.
Speaker 2:No, hear me out. I hate birds, I know, but a giant bird is basically a dinosaur, and this dinosaur can talk. He's like Pauly want a cracker, and then he destroys Chicago.
Speaker 1:Oh him, I just, I just.
Speaker 2:He's like. He's like. Paulie won a whiskey. There goes Cleveland Ohio.
Speaker 1:You know, I might, I might, chicago might get replaced one day here, poor fella.
Speaker 2:Oh, I was talking about the city of Chicago. Oh, I was talking about the cat.
Speaker 1:Iago, oh, I was talking about the cat. I thought you mean he was gonna attack the cat oh no.
Speaker 2:but yes, yes, chicago will get messed up. But talking about messed up that 2002 game, six western conference finals coming soon. That is coming soon, but ill-timed, because that is no longer the worst called game in NBA history Hot take. We recorded that episode before this one Spoiler, I guess.
Speaker 1:Can I rewind back to the bird comment?
Speaker 2:The parrots.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Go for it. I don't trust birds, that's okay.
Speaker 1:I don't care if you don't trust birds, that's okay. I don't care if you don't trust birds. No, wait, hold up. Wait, are you one of those guys?
Speaker 2:Are you one of those guys that are like, hey, birds are by the cameras, by the government. No no, no, okay, so you're not.
Speaker 1:No, no, no, I'm off my rocker if it's indoors. If you have an indoor bird, I don't trust it why, outdoors that's where it's supposed to be. You're married to one they're supposed to. They're supposed to be outdoors. I'm sorry, jackal, that was incredibly rude of me when they're indoors, though, they have those beady eyes and they will poop on you. Oh, get out cut it out, let's go.
Speaker 2:You're married to one.
Speaker 1:Back to Rampage.
Speaker 2:So okay, you got elephant, you got penguin, you got ant, I got platypus, koala and parrot.
Speaker 1:You might win just because of platypus, just a giant Agent P.
Speaker 2:Do you think it's growing quills at that point, like the fur's, already poisonous?
Speaker 1:I just Can you imagine it like growing big and stuff and all of a sudden it does the or whatever. Agent P makes the sound, you know.
Speaker 2:Could you imagine laying an egg?
Speaker 1:No, you know what I'm talking about with the&p stuff, right? No, finnish and ferb, oh, I have. I have, yeah, the agent.
Speaker 2:He makes the sound that oh yeah, the teeth clatter kind of, yeah, what?
Speaker 1:if. What if he makes that after afterwards, like when he grows that big and he's like, and he makes that sound, or whatever, whatever.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I'm not into that.
Speaker 1:That'd be funny.
Speaker 2:I doubt it what would be funny is if he grows large. But the eggs that the platypus lays, normal sized, Just thousands.
Speaker 1:No, wait, wait, wait, thousands Cadbury egg sized.
Speaker 2:So it's just like a little bit larger.
Speaker 1:Cadbury. No, those are those little chocolate eggs that you see on Easter.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, they're a little bit larger than normal eggs. No.
Speaker 1:No, they're definitely smaller. They are teeny tiny.
Speaker 2:They are bite-sized. I have not had a Cadbury egg in 20 years.
Speaker 1:Have you had a bite-sized Snickers? Sorry, what A bite-sized Snickers, snickers.
Speaker 2:Yeah, the mini, sorry, what A bite-sized.
Speaker 1:Snickers, snickers, the mini Snickers, not in a while. Okay, so it is smaller than that.
Speaker 2:So it's like Me, me, me, me. He's so For the folks who can't see. He's holding his fingers about an inch apart and going, and that's so For the folks who can't see. He's holding his fingers about an inch apart and going, and then still going.
Speaker 1:We are no longer in the same city.
Speaker 2:Could you imagine the platypus just plowing down the city and Eric Idle says I'm not quite dead yet, it's just a flesh wound. Actually, I think I'm feeling quite better. It's just a flesh wound. Actually, I think I'm feeling quite better. It's just a flesh wound. I think I'll live. I think I'll live, like he was just freshly squatted on and he's just like.
Speaker 1:I think I'll be fine that movie's fantastic for the most part. I love the the French guys in that movie oh, the French guys yeah, yeah, and they're debating what type of bird it is. All right, so I love it. I told them we have one. I told them we have one the Holy Grail. I told them we already have one.
Speaker 2:It's so good, but let's circle back.
Speaker 1:Okay, circle back.
Speaker 2:We've got the cast.
Speaker 1:We've got the cast.
Speaker 2:The cast is, we've got the cast. Whatever the cast is, we've got uh, doing the rock. Johnson jack quaid jack quaid.
Speaker 1:Jeffrey d morgan. Jeffrey d morgan, everybody else is, I don't care about anybody else well, let's take the three actors okay, pick three actors who you're replacing them with okay, um, oh, that's a hard one.
Speaker 2:Yeah, not just one. Who are you replacing, dwayne?
Speaker 1:The Rock.
Speaker 2:Johnson. With who are you replacing Jeffrey Dean Morgan with? And I don't really remember who Jack Quaid played.
Speaker 1:Jack Quaid. He was like one of the scientist guys that were with Dwayne the Rock Johnson. Oh, he's one of the bad guys, right? No?
Speaker 2:no, oh, at the beginning.
Speaker 1:At the beginning, okay he's the one that they try to freak out. Um, I'm gonna go with, can I? Can I pick a time period for this actor? Is that okay, can I?
Speaker 2:break the rules, like any time period. Any actor like this is fantasy fantasy draft.
Speaker 1:Give me 2 000 brendan frasier for doing the rock johnson I can't argue with that.
Speaker 2:That's pretty good.
Speaker 1:Give me 2 000 or brendan frasier for doing the rock johnson that's pretty good um for jeffrey d morgan. Give me tommy lee jones that's not bad. Give me tommy lee jones. I'm on fire tonight. Um, for jack quaid, give me kevin hart. I know there's too much kevin hart in the world, but for the fact that he's kind of a scared guy in this kevin hart could kind of fit. He would fit perfectly in that, and just the reaction he'd be kevin hartwood would kind of fit.
Speaker 1:So that would be my lineup right there okay, okay, what you got.
Speaker 2:So I want to start with jeffrey d morgan. Okay, the, the federal agent, this fearless law man. Yep, I want a different angle. Okay, I kind of want a weasley guy, steve buscini.
Speaker 1:No, I want sam rockwell that's okay, I can see that.
Speaker 2:I can see that okay you get kind of weasley role where you're like you don't quite trust the guy, but you like him. Okay, you like him. Um, for for jack quaid replace him with that's a good that is a good question. Um, that is a good question. The right answer is kevin hart. It, it is, it is. It is a good question. The right answer is Kevin Hart.
Speaker 1:I hate to say that.
Speaker 2:It is a good answer, but I'm going to go a different angle.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:Let me look this guy up. I got to remember his name. I'm bad with names is his name, chikamanga. No, no, I'm going to go. Hear me out here. Hear me out here. He's a cowardly character, he's expressive. He's reacting to a gorilla attack. Jim Varney.
Speaker 1:Fun fact, fun fact about Jim Varney. Fun fact, fun fact about Jim Varney. He's the only actor that Robin Williams actually acknowledged. I can go toe-to-toe with him.
Speaker 2:That's fair. I actually haven't seen a single Jim Varney movie.
Speaker 1:Really.
Speaker 2:I have not, it's fantastic and actually it's funny because I've seen, I think, skits of his, but I haven't seen like full movies.
Speaker 1:There's actually a short of him out there, check it out. If you, if anybody gets the chance, check it out. It's robin williams and he is. Robin williams is going off behind the scenes of something with jim varney and jim varney's matching him toe for toe. Like robin williams is just trying to bs here with with jim varney and j Jim Varney's matching him toe for toe. Like Robin Williams is just trying to BS here with with Jim Varney and Jim Varney just rolling with it and actually matching him.
Speaker 2:And Robin Williams is just like who is this guy?
Speaker 1:That's fantastic.
Speaker 2:And.
Speaker 1:Jim Varney's, just like I'm earnest.
Speaker 2:That's fantastic.
Speaker 1:He is fantastic, he is yeah, you can't, he is actually one of the most hidden actors of america of all time. I feel like, okay, open splash mountain for those disney fanatics out there, because we'd like to tie ourselves back to disney sometimes. So yeah, we do sometimes he is, he opened, he opened splash mountain um for duane the rock.
Speaker 2:Johnson's role.
Speaker 1:Yeah, 2000,. Brandon.
Speaker 2:Fraser, that is a good pick. That is a very good pick. I don't know if my pick is going to top that. I don't think so. In my head I was, like you know, harrison Ford. Yeah, 80s, harrison Ford.
Speaker 1:It's not my pick. It's not my pick.
Speaker 2:I hear you, I hear you, I hear you. I'm like that would be fun.
Speaker 1:But with Jim Varney. There's one other actor actually here. If you say his name, I will poop a blue nickel in my pants, right here I'll actually take right here and it'll be a surprise pick. I'm not going to lie.
Speaker 2:It's not going to be that pick.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:Jim Varney. And then I chose be that pick, okay, um, jim varney. And then, um, uh, I chose sam rockwell for the federal agent yeah like we got two kind of weasels yeah I don't want to counter that, really okay. I don't want so much a straight man as let's just make this a comedy and let's make it jackie chan, because hear me out the stunts, let's make them funny, let's make them creative. Okay, can I?
Speaker 1:throw out who I was thinking. Go for it, tim allen no, get out of here.
Speaker 2:No, he, no, he.
Speaker 1:He is outside of, like galaxy quest, which he's fantastic in, and I went to mountain from that era and I went to mountain from galaxy quest era I don't think he would pull it I think, he'd pull.
Speaker 2:I don't think so. I'm saying or let's, let's get, let's get Jackie Chan in a movie where he's not the biggest threat. Let's get a movie where he's up against a big crocodile or something.
Speaker 1:Like let's go with it.
Speaker 2:Let's get creative with the stunts. Let's get interested. Because, I'm sorry, but like Dwayne the Rock Johnson, like he's fun but he's not interesting to watch. In a stunts aspect he is a brick. You add in Brendan Fraser he's a good pick, he's very charismatic, but I think Jackie Chan actually also has that charisma. And then you add in the stunts and we only even make this a martial arts movie. Let's not do that. And we only even make this a martial arts movie. Like, let's not do that. Let's just have him do fun stunts as he's dodging a giant wolf and crocodile and occasionally a gorilla.
Speaker 2:Like that would be fun so I'm actually gonna nope, nevermind you can't top Jackie Chan no, I was gonna say the dude was gonna do a movie about terrorists attacking the World Trade Center and it got canceled due to I don't remember when 9-11 happened.
Speaker 1:I was going to say, make Sam Rockwell actually the main character or no, make Gary Oldman the actual cop guy. Make Sam Rockwell the main character and the actual cop guy, sam Rockwell the main character, sam Rockwell should be more main characters and stuff.
Speaker 2:I don't think this is a movie, though.
Speaker 1:The Way Way Back. Have you ever seen that Fantastic movie? Recommend it Moon. The Way Way Back. Moon Never seen that.
Speaker 2:Fantastic.
Speaker 1:Sam Rockwell is actually a good hidden actor.
Speaker 2:He's like gary oldman almost I don't think, I don't think gary oldman's necessarily hidden, he's just no, he's not supporting roles, yeah which kind of sucks. And I think sam rockwell is kind of in the same boat, but he is kind of hidden on top of it.
Speaker 1:He's like the next gary oldman he is fantastic actor more comedic, more comedic. Gary oldman, I feel like yeah, because he plays more comedy roles than gary oldman but he's got that range he does he's got that range um hidden talent.
Speaker 2:Let's get sam rockwell and gary oldman in more movies, please, as leads yeah, but I mean, besides villains and other things um I mean sam rockwell's been been heroes yeah moon he was. He was a hero um way, way back.
Speaker 1:He was technically a hero uh, seven psychopaths.
Speaker 2:He was technically a hero what's the, what's the character?
Speaker 1:so he's in. I forgot the name goggins walter goggins walter goggins yeah, why is he getting so much stuff when sam rockwell could probably do better than walter goggins?
Speaker 2:was sam, okay, okay hear me out here, hear me out here, hear me out here, I'm listening. Let's stop putting Chris Pratt in stuff and let's start putting Sam Rockwell in these roles. Maybe Not necessarily the cartoons like Mario and Garfield and stuff like that, but like Passengers, a movie about a guy who wakes up in the middle of some space express flight one, and then wakes up some chick to be like oh no, your pod must malfunction too. I totally didn't tamper with it, like that's a Sam Rockwell type of role. That's not a Chris Pratt role. Let's throw Sam Rockwell in more roles that are that kind of comedic role that ask for more than what Chris Pratt can do. And I'm not trying to diss on Chris Pratt, but comparatively.
Speaker 1:What if he was the agent? Isn't that what you said?
Speaker 2:The agent.
Speaker 1:Yeah, in this movie, isn't that what you said? Put him in Jeffrey Dean Morgan's role.
Speaker 2:Yeah, though, jeffrey Dean.
Speaker 1:Morgan was actually excellent in this movie, isn't that what you said? Put him in Jeffrey D Morgan's role. Yeah, though, jeffrey.
Speaker 2:D Morgan was actually excellent in this movie.
Speaker 1:He was actually, he's actually a hidden talent himself too.
Speaker 2:He's fantastic in this. I was surprised In Jeffrey.
Speaker 1:D Morgan.
Speaker 2:Yeah, oh, he is, I've not seen him in anything prior to this.
Speaker 1:Oh, he is Almost in everything he plays and he's fantastic, but he doesn't get cast for a lot of stuff and I don't know why. He's actually a pretty good actor.
Speaker 2:He should. He's really good. Sorry, I had a burp, he's super charismatic. He's fun to watch and he's chewing up all the scenery in this Like I don't know what more you can ask. He gave me I think you're right with this with the Tommy Lee Jones pic.
Speaker 1:He gave you Tommy Lee Jones.
Speaker 2:I think you said Like in Fugitive, in Fugitive, specifically Like Fugitive and Harry Dean Morgan. This is a lesser movie. We'll get to final thoughts. Fugitive a lesser movie, we'll get to final thoughts. Fugitive fantastic movie, but the role, specifically yeah.
Speaker 1:I think you mentioned in this movie that you said that Jeffrey Dean Morgan's trying to do an accent. I'm like no, I think he's just playing off of what he already has.
Speaker 2:Yeah, because I was definitely getting like a Tommy Lee Jones kind of kick.
Speaker 1:I think he was just giving oomph to what he had, because I was definitely getting like a Tommy Lee Jones kind of kick. I think he was just kick, but he was giving oomph to what he had, okay, I think in this movie, and I think he already has some sort of accent like that I might be wrong.
Speaker 1:See, I wasn't familiar with him prior, but in every movie in Jeffrey Dean Morgan or every show that I've seen in Jeffrey Dean Morgan. He's a pretty solid actor actually, like I've never seen him like flop in a movie. Okay, he's a solid, solid actor, even in a supernatural Great show.
Speaker 2:Okay, I've never seen that.
Speaker 1:Play Sam and Dean's dad. Fantastic actor in that show. I don't, I don't know who those are. Sam and Dean. They're the main characters, jensen, eccles and I don't remember the other guy, sam, whoever plays as Sam, but they call him Moose.
Speaker 2:Jensen.
Speaker 1:Eccles is in a lot of stuff. He's actually supposed to be the next Batman supposedly. He actually does a lot of Batman voices. He was under the Red Hood. He was under the Red Hood. He was actually the Red Hood in that movie. People think that he should be the next Bruce Wayne.
Speaker 2:Harry Dean Sand Harry, what Sorry, I missed the middle part. Who should be the next? Bruce Wayne Jensen.
Speaker 1:Ackles I don't know who that is. He plays Dean in Supernatural, plays under the Red Hood. He's the Red Hood, okay, in all the new Batman movies, cartoons. Most of the time he's Bruce Wayne in Batman.
Speaker 2:What are your favorite kind of scenes from this movie?
Speaker 1:I actually love the opening scene kind of, when Dwayne the Rock Johnson's hit, he's introduced and he's walking through just kind of the enclosure for the most part and they introduce George.
Speaker 2:George, George, George of the jungle.
Speaker 1:It's just an albino ape.
Speaker 2:George George George of the jungle, and is the albino ape George George George of the jungle.
Speaker 1:And you see, george is basically anytime George and George George. George of the jungle, dwayne the Rock Johnson gets to interact. It's kind of fun to actually see them interact with each other, even at the end where George George, george of the jungle Makes gestures towards him about him and the lady that's in the movie. Yep and just that interaction is probably the best part of the movie personally, just them and their connection okay, I can't complain about that, because that was also going to be my number one pick.
Speaker 2:My number one pick is going to be actually a Harry Dean Stanton movie, kind of Because you did pick my number one where it's that initial interaction at the opening, but where Harry Dean Stanton. Is it Harry Dean Stanton? It's not Harry Dean Stanton. Jeffrey Dean Morgan so close where Jeffrey Dean Morgan is have I been Harry Dean Stanton-ing this whole time.
Speaker 1:I think you said Jeffrey Dean Morgan.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 1:That's okay.
Speaker 2:Slip of the tongue when Jeffrey Dean Morgan is interacting with one of the bad guys, kind of the stooge guy, and he's like why don't you let me hold on to the rat in that briefcase and I'll let you go free? Because I felt like that was the spot, like I, I can't. Yours is the number one. The pick that you did is absolutely number one. But I felt like that was the scene where we got to see harry dean stan, kind of Jeffrey Dean Morgan. Yes, jeffrey Dean Morgan flexes chops a little bit more than he could in other scenes, not to say that he couldn't, but it was more of like kind of a him and insignificant character. So seeing him play off of that was was a ton of fun for for me personally, because I just I, I like seeing character actors be able to own a scene, and that's what we got to see was a character actor owning a scene he chewed it up.
Speaker 1:He was on the scene he did.
Speaker 2:He chewed it up more than that alligator did. And speaking of that alligator, what are your final thoughts on rampage 2018?
Speaker 1:I would say that this movie is something that you're probably safe to watch with a kid. For the most part, it's just an action movie. If you let your kid watch Star Wars, you can let your kid watch this.
Speaker 2:Agreed.
Speaker 1:In the end this is an action movie. To me it is straight action. It is straight. Monster tears the town up. I do like the comedy bits in this movie. I do like the actors in this movie. I know that we don't do sevens in this. We don't, we don't. But this is a hard seven. If this was ever a seven, this is a seven we don't do seven so but this is a hard we don't do sevens. Okay, this is a hard 6.9.
Speaker 2:This is a hard 6.9. Or 8.1?.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's 7.1. It's 6.9. Is it 6.9? It's a 6.9.
Speaker 2:Okay, I can't argue with that.
Speaker 1:I honestly think that this is just the average. This is a hard. C for me and I can't get any lower than that. I can't move. This is what it is. You know if you played the game Monster Tears Up Town. That's what you do. That's what it is. If you want a cheap, cheesy, cheesy fun time of a king kong like if you see these newer king kongs, godzillas, you see these newer ones. If you want some with more comedy in it, this is your movie.
Speaker 2:I will say this is better than the american king kongs, the, the newer ones, or godzillas. Um, I will stick my neck out for the peter jackson king kong because I do enjoy that. That is basically a shot for shot remake of the original which, like doesn't give it its own like, like, that's doing a shot for shot isn't like how you do a good like movie like the vinceughn. Uh, psycho trash. But, um, I thought this was uh, I, I agree, I think any kid could really watch this. It's a straight action. Um, if they can watch Star Wars, they can watch this. That's absolutely. That's absolutely the case. You hit the nail on the head. I think the thing for me is this is average. It's a five, because a five is as mid as it gets and yeah, like so for me, I see a big monster movie. That's fun.
Speaker 2:You, you watch any of the like the was like soho era godzilla movies. They're fun, they're schlocky, they're stupid, but like, also, if you want to go into it, the monsters represent something like king ador represents china and the threat that represented to Japan at the time. Uh, mothra represented mother nature. Um, was it? Uh, gigan, I think, represented America or something like that. Uh, and and um, hedorah represented, uh, pollution, um, like the things represented more so like there's a bit more of a message there and so there's, there's. You get this the fun schlocky, laugh out loud kind of monster movie. But then, if you want, there there is a bit more substance to it, there's a bit more to kind of chew off there. Um, not to say that this doesn't like they put a lot of work into this movie. They also put a lot of work into the old movies. I just felt like this was lacking any further substance other than large thing smashes large city.
Speaker 1:What are you into? Would you say this is one of the better video game movies? Would?
Speaker 2:you say this is one of the better video game movies. I'll admit I have not seen a lot so I can't say Like what video game movies are kind of stick outs for you. Because I have not seen Doom, I've not seen any Resident Evil movies. Um, I have seen mario bros. I would watch either mario bros over this and, um, really absolutely 100.
Speaker 1:I would actually go on a limb and say that I would rather watch this than the new mario bros. Unless I'm watching with a kid, then I'd rather watch the new mario bros with a kid, but I would rather watch this. If it was my own time.
Speaker 2:I'd rather watch this see, I I'd rather watch the new mario bros because I felt like that has a bit more interest as far as like visual kind of display, um, the environments that they have, kind of the props that they have, the callbacks to the classic games and stuff like that is a bit more interesting than Large Thing Destroys Large City. So that's just kind of where I stand. I do prefer both of the Mario movies to this. I just think this is lacking a lot. If I'm sick, I'll watch it. If not, mario movies to this, I just think this is just lacking a lot. If I'm sick, I'll watch it. If not, you know, then I'm not watching it. Like it's a five With that.
Speaker 2:This has been the Backseat Critics. If you enjoyed this episode, be sure to check us out. If you find us anywhere, just look at the Backseat Critics. You listen to us, you applaud the back seat critics. You listen to us, you applaud we found us. Congratulations, uh, like us if you like us, don't like us if you don't, whatever, we're not your mom, and with that we out.
