In this episode of The Backseat Critics, the best Portland based movie review podcast, we explore the bonkers universe where animatronics come to life and start killing people at "legally not Chuck-e-Cheese". Our hosts tackle the FNAF film with ridiculous theories, animatronic antics, and plenty of laughs. Join us for a night of absurdity as we try to keep away from actually discussing this movie.
00:00 - Intro
04:00 - News - new Doug cartoon
15:03 - Jim Henson Creature Shop worked on this movie
16:12 - Second Movie, and how scary is this anyways?
18:45 - Freetalk
26:04 - Top Three Horror Movies
34:39 - Final Thoughts
Be sure to hit like if you like this podcast.
Also be sure to follow our friends over at Play No Games Podcast on YouTube. They are also on Instagram @lookhere.playnogamespod.
In this episode of The Backseat Critics, the best Portland based movie review podcast, we explore the bonkers universe where animatronics come to life and start killing people at "legally not Chuck-e-Cheese". Our hosts tackle the FNAF film with ridiculous theories, animatronic antics, and plenty of laughs. Join us for a night of absurdity as we try to keep away from actually discussing this movie.
00:00 - Intro
04:00 - News - new Doug cartoon
15:03 - Jim Henson Creature Shop worked on this movie
16:12 - Second Movie, and how scary is this anyways?
18:45 - Freetalk
26:04 - Top Three Horror Movies
34:39 - Final Thoughts
Be sure to hit like if you like this podcast.
Also be sure to follow our friends over at Play No Games Podcast on YouTube. They are also on Instagram @lookhere.playnogamespod.
Andrew: Are we ready to film this? Are we recording? Yeah, we are recording. And we're gonna start off by saying, Jamie is no longer, going to be chiming in here. You are now listening to the Backseat Critics, the movie review podcast.
RJ: Welcome back to the backseat creek. My name is RJ.
Andrew: My name's Andrew. This is podcast where you review movies that you should steer clear well away from. And this week we are back to exactly that.
RJ: Yes.
Andrew: as we're going over 2023 ah. Five nights at Freddy's. Wow. I forgot the name of this movie.
RJ: It's a very forbidden forgettable movie boy forgettable.
Andrew: Okay, so I'll be upfront.
RJ: We're not forgettable.
Andrew: We're not going to do our usual topics here.
RJ: There's no topics here.
Andrew: There's no topics.
RJ: No topics. out.
Andrew: Whoa. Gone.
RJ: you saw topics.
Andrew: I said, nope.
RJ: No topics.
Andrew: Tonight we saw this movie and we're like, okay, we're both going to pick Matthew Lillard as our number one.
RJ: Matthew Lillard. Done.
Andrew: Boom.
RJ: Shaggy do.
Andrew: And you know what? That's about it.
RJ: That's about it. Done.
Andrew: This is one of the most boring horror movies I have seen in years.
RJ: Newsfest.
Andrew: This was incredibly boring. I'm not a fan of jump scares, but I would have taken that over whatever garbage this was.
RJ: I would have taken Ronald McDonald over this.
Andrew: Is this what the games are? The Hunger Games. Also.
RJ: The Twilight Games.
Andrew: Wait. There's Twilight games.
RJ: I'd rather watch Twilight. Sign me up. Robert Pattinson.
Andrew: All right, stay tuned, guys. We're going to be diving into the Twilight series. Was it Kristen Stewart?
RJ: I'd rather watch her.
Andrew: You remember that baby with the CG face? Because I do.
RJ: Yeah. You know what? Taylor Swift's ex boyfriend, Taylor Lautner, let's watch him as a werewolf.
Andrew: Are you more of a Jacob or are you an Edward guy?
RJ: I'm a Jacob guy.
Andrew: Really? Dude?
RJ: Taylor Lautner, Shark boy and his boy. Get out of here. Cut it out. That's done.
Andrew: But you got Batman.
RJ: Listen.
Andrew: You got Batman.
RJ: Listen. I have that movie over here.
Andrew: I'm peeking.
RJ: Abduction. I've got peakage for Batman.
Andrew: That's cool.
RJ: But I got abduction.
Andrew: I got I think he was in Divergence.
RJ: Divergent.
Andrew: No, wait, we're getting correction from he was not Divergent.
RJ: He was not in Divergent. But you know what? He was Shark Boy.
Andrew: Yeah, he was Shark Boy.
RJ: And he also dated Taylor Swift for a brief second to bring out one of her most that feels like a pretty low bar nowadays with his third you know what he got her third greatest album. Yeah. Taylor Lautner.
Andrew: Okay. Lautner. Okay.
RJ: It's Taylor Lautner.
Andrew: Anyways, so anyways, Taylor Lautner.
RJ: Edward just just okay, Jacob, team Jacob, we're going.
Andrew: To start off the facts here, okay? Yes.
RJ: Facts. Hit them.
Andrew: Facts. Boom, boom, boom. Fast fact for the backseat critics. If you want to jump in as a jackal, you're going to jump on the mic.
RJ: You're going to jump on the mic. As a jackal.
Andrew: I want to puberty right now. My voice is cracking crack all over the place. 599, 599. We got stereos for 299. We got microphone DJ sets for 299.
RJ: And you know what else we got? I actually got some news today.
Andrew: What?
RJ: Yeah, I got some news today. I'm pretty upset about this news.
Andrew: Yeah? What's the news, Doug? 1499.
RJ: Have you seen the show, Doug?
Andrew: Yeah. They're bringing it back with as adults.
RJ: No, cut it out. Cut it out right there. Stop it.
Andrew: Original cast as adults bringing back,
RJ: Their kids right disney, stop right there.
Andrew: Because, was it doug is having kids with, Marjorie Mallory, megan that's Patty Mayonnaise. That was going to be my next guest. Yeah.
RJ: Stop it right there.
Andrew: Mayonnaise was, like, right on the tip of my tongue.
RJ: Stop it right there. We don't need this. We do not need this. Stop it.
Andrew: Stop it.
RJ: Stop it. Don't kill what's already. Great. This is my life story. I don't need this. Listen, for those who are not on a microphone right now, for the jackals, my life is average.
Andrew: Oh. the Jackal be approaches, and my.
RJ: Life is like, wait, quickly, jackal.
Andrew: Is it Taylor Lauder? Taylor louder. Tater Totter?
Speaker C: Taylor. Taylor Lautner. Taylor Lautner. However, I do think it's weird that Taylor Swift dated a man with the same name as herself, but that's beside the point. RJ, your name is not Doug, and it is not Charlie. That's all I have to say.
Andrew: Taylor Laudner.
RJ: You know what? My dog in the future, his name is going to be Mowgli. Did you know that?
Andrew: It's going to be mowgli.
RJ: It's going to be mowgli. And you know what? He's going to be as smart as, Pork Chop in that show, okay?
RJ: He's going to be as smart as Pork Chop.
Andrew: He's going to be smart as Pork Chop.
RJ: Smart as pork chop.
Andrew: That's crazy. Yeah.
RJ: My dog's going to be right there. And you know what? You know what this makes you, though?
Andrew: This makes me yeah.
RJ: This makes you're Skeeter in my story.
Andrew: Hey, Doug. Hey.
RJ: Skeeter was my favorite. He actually has when Doug goes quail. Man.
Andrew: All right. And this was the last episode of the Backseat Critics.
RJ: When Doug goes quail man this was it.
Andrew: He is it. This was last episode. The Jackal finally used a microphone. I finally got compared to Skeeter. We're done. That's it. All that's said has been said and is needed to be said or wasn't needed to be said and was said anyways.
RJ: Hey, Skeeter was his ride or die.
Andrew: Skeeter was a skeeter.
RJ: Skeeter was a homie. He was a homie.
Andrew: tune, in next week for no episode of The Backseat Critics, because this is it. We're done. We're done, folks.
RJ: Doug was the real butthole in the show. I felt like Skeeter was the real homie. Watch it. You'll learn. You'll learn that Skeeter was the real hero in the show. Doug was just the real average guy. He was the try hard. You'll learn he is the try hard, but realized he's only going to be average in life. And Skeeter was skeeter.
Andrew: Skeeter's. Always skeeter. Yep.
RJ: Skeeter's. Always skeeting.
Andrew: And, like me, I'm always skeeting. Yep.
RJ: Skeeting by man, there's no way I can but I'm going to get a dog named Mowgli. And, he's going to be just by the way, he's going to be a corgi. Whoa, corgi?
Andrew: Yeah. You're going to have a child and you're going to name M mowgli.
RJ: Dog.
Andrew: You're not going to name him Andrew Dog. Everyone's got a fantasy about naming a dog after me.
RJ: Dog named Mowgli. He's going to be the smartest dog in the world. Mowgli, train that mother sucker. Whoa, sucker.
Andrew: Wow. Making me work for those Bleeps. Whoa, whoa.
RJ: Why you got a Bleep out mother sucker?
Andrew: Sorry, say that again, suck. wow. Okay.
RJ: But you know what? Mowgli, smartest dog in the world. Mark my awards on this podcast. You know, he's going to be a real lazy poop in real life.
Andrew: He's going to be a dog. He's just going to be a basset.
RJ: No, he's going to be the Laziest. He's going to be the embodiment of Garfield in dog form. That's what his dog's going to be in real life. Oh, you mean.
Andrew: Subs.
RJ: Yeah, but more so with okay. This dog's going to have a love for lasagna.
Andrew: I'm pretty sure if you feed dog lasagna, you're a good person.
RJ: Yeah, probably.
Andrew: That's how I think that's how people get to heaven.
RJ: Probably all dogs go to so yeah, I've seen that movie.
Andrew: Yeah.
RJ: Better movie than five nights at Fredy's.
Speaker C: What?
Andrew: Yeah. Jeez, I'm doing anything except talking about this movie, but yeah. Nope.
RJ: I would say avoid Doug in the future. Pass it.
Andrew: Yep.
RJ: Moving on. I don't open that's my that's my news topic for the day.
Andrew: I'm open if it introduces Doug to younger I'm game.
RJ: no, just go back and watch the originals.
Andrew: But yeah, that's what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying. If Joe remake williker remake reintroduces people to the originals. What's the.
RJ: Mushrooms. Shiitake mushrooms.
Andrew: Just read the books.
RJ: There's books of.
Andrew: A was that a movie with Denzel Washington?
RJ: Yes.
Andrew: The book of Doug. The Book of Doug came out, like, 2011. Something like that.
RJ: Yeah, with snakes on the plane. Actually, it's Book of Eli, but it's okay. That's a good movie.
Andrew: Better movie than Friday Nights of Freddy. I was making a joke there. You just absolutely just nosedived that. Yeah.
RJ: No, I'm just trying to keep us on trap traffic, traffic, traffic. Look, for my chapstick, I don't know.
Andrew: If we can really do, a, two minute summary up top here. Look there's.
RJ: A Ford Maverick. That's a better movie. Boost must one dropped it.
Andrew: What? You know the movie The Room by Tommy Wiesau? Yeah.
RJ: Better movie?
Andrew: Yep. Do you know any, movie by Neil Breen?
RJ: No, I do not.
Andrew: Better movies. Every single one.
RJ: You know what's a better movie?
Andrew: What?
RJ: Zombies.
Andrew: Do you know what the best movie of all time is?
RJ: Descendants two.
Andrew: Descendants two.
RJ: That's good.
Andrew: There's an octopus lady.
RJ: Let's get back to the octopus. Dragon fights.
Andrew: Charlie G, willicker's Batman of the movie. They're on a yacht. There's a dancing, but then there's a dragon lady.
RJ: Listen.
Andrew: Fighting an octopus lady.
RJ: I'm not trying to be I'm into that.
Andrew: I'm not trying to be no. can we set aside all of our differences in the world? I know there's some world stuff going on, some differences of opinion, but can we set that aside and let us all enjoy dragon lady fighting octopus lady.
RJ: Wait, I'm not trying to be a cotton head nini muggins here, but a, what? A cotton headed nini muggins?
Andrew: I'm going to have to bleep that out because I don't know about that.
RJ: That is safe, actually. You ever watched the movie Elf? It is safe. Cotton headed nini muggins.
Andrew: I'm going to have to beep all of that out.
RJ: Look it up. Look it up.
Andrew: Jeez, who came up with that word? Will Ferrell. You sure it wasn't Quentin Tarantino? David Duke.
RJ: But listen, hear me out, hear me out. Not trying to be a continent anyway.
Andrew: Geez, you really making me work these.
RJ: Bleeps, but I'd rather listen to this girl that says what's my name? Than watch five nights at Freddy's. Some girl who's Ursula's daughter that forgets her name. What's my name? What's my name? That's all. Yeah, that was on my soundtrack at work, and I just kind of play over it. I'll be family friendly.
Andrew: You know what the better movie is? Girl versus monster.
RJ: Dude, that's probably one of the best.
Andrew: Movies we've watched, honestly.
RJ: Yeah, I'd rather watch that than probably 70% of the movies we have watched.
Andrew: Except Alf.
RJ: Alf is number one.
Andrew: Alpha is number one.
RJ: Number 110 out of ten.
Andrew: Forever number one. You know what?
RJ: We're tens. But that's the perfect movie.
Andrew: We're, like, 15 minutes in, and we haven't even really touched on this movie.
RJ: Okay? So I am actually going to bring it up just because we're probably not going to do, we're not doing any topics here, so I'm going to say august Keller, look him up on Instagram. He is a friend of the show. Kind of does movie reviews. He puts it perfectly in his review. He gave it, like, threes, I think the max. He gave it a five, maybe for costumes.
Andrew: I think he gave out of ten.
RJ: Five out of ten.
Andrew: Okay.
RJ: Most of it was threes. 2.5. August Keller. Look him up. He'll give you an honest review. He's pretty good at reviews. I trust him. august keller. Look him up. Instagram.
Andrew: I'll tag it down below in, the description. Yep.
RJ: Take a look at a he's a good dude, good at movie reviews. Doesn't really do podcasting, but he does good at writing them up.
Andrew: Great.
RJ: Summaries. August Keller.
Andrew: All right, sir. I'm just looking something up here.
RJ: Yep. also, if you look it out there, I guess some people let's just talk about the reviews that this movie has got real quick is that from what I've saw, is that a lot of people that actually play the games have enjoyed this movie.
Andrew: Really? Yeah.
RJ: I think that they felt like this movie did it justice. from what I've gathered, I haven't played the game myself.
Andrew: Ditto.
RJ: but I have seen that it's kind of like watching the cameras.
Andrew: Yeah, that's what I've gathered.
RJ: Maybe I'm wrong, but it looks like you're kind of that security guard that watches the cameras. Maybe it is an abandoned place.
Andrew: Oh, you know what? Can I just drop something really quickly?
RJ: Go for it. We got time. Because this movie sucked.
Andrew: This movie is trash. So apparently the animatronics yeah. Weren't CGI.
RJ: You can tell they're definitely a puppetry. Maybe the eyes, but they're definitely a puppetry.
Andrew: No, there were some lighting bits that were really funky, that really look like CGI. Because they weren't acting in a way that real life lighting. Kind of say, the one that would.
RJ: Get me would be the fox, where I could be like, maybe that one was CGI. The cupcake.
Andrew: Obviously the cupcake.
RJ: The eyes were definitely CGI, I feel like.
Andrew: but a lot of the lighting in the movie was unnatural, but not in a creepy sense. It just looked like stage lighting. But apparently Jim Henson's creature shop worked on this. The same company that worked on teenage, mutant Ninja Turtles back in the 90s.
RJ: Good for them. Good for them. They probably have a second movie of this coming out. Actually.
Andrew: Maybe it leaves off with, I don't even want to say cliffhanger, but it leaves off with something that lead into a second.
RJ: I think they left it off that way. So if this movie was taken in a good lighting, that they have a jumping off point.
Andrew: Yeah.
RJ: So I don't know if they'll actually get to it. Maybe they will, maybe they won't. Maybe.
Andrew: Honestly, I'm open to it.
RJ: If it's scary, I would say save your money. Don't go to theaters for this.
Andrew: Do not go to the theaters.
RJ: Go watch it as we watch it. We watched it on Peacock. Buy peacock. They have quite a variety of things. right now, I'd say, might be worth it just to even watch this. Even if it's for a month. Just buy peacock for a second.
Andrew: Yeah. definitely not worth watching in theaters.
RJ: No.
Andrew: There's nothing terribly big and cinematic, unless you're, like, a diehard fan of the game. Maybe. But like you said, my understanding of the game was it was just like jump scares and watching the camera, which this movie had about zero five minutes.
RJ: Of I don't see any jump scare in this movie. It's very predictable.
Andrew: Okay. I hate jump scares. They're the cheapest form of scary tactics in a horror movie. This movie had maybe two of them and then applied no other, ah, scare tactics at all.
RJ: Nothing. Even the electronic when they're trapped in the Freddy's face is like trying to eat.
Andrew: Honestly, I do pause the movie. And we had about 30 minutes left when it finally became like Freddy's, where the bear and the duck and the bunny and the fox were going around killing or like, at least coming after him. There was 30 minutes left in this hour and a half movie. When we finally get to basically the point of the movie.
RJ: Yeah.
Andrew: Okay.
RJ: Even then, the point of the movie was kind of trashy.
Andrew: Let's start off we'll just run through the runtime of this movie.
RJ: Okay, let's go.
Andrew: we start off there's a security guard. Security guard? Yep. he's running from, I believe the fox because he's skitten scatten away. What's?
RJ: The fox? I think they showed the fox.
Andrew: No, they showed the shadow. They showed the shadow.
RJ: But then it was the fox. It was the rabbit dude, wasn't it?
Andrew: No, I think it was a fox. Because the fox was the one that was scatting later in the movie.
RJ: No, because do you remember because it went into like a fan thing, right, and they showed the no, wait, no, that was when the robbers were trying.
Andrew: To steal yeah, that's later. but then it ended up being the cupcake that got him.
RJ: It was the cupcake.
Andrew: out of all the animatronics, is.
RJ: The best character he got eaten by the Freddy costume.
Andrew: Yes. so they strap people down and they take this Freddy mask with little slob blades in it that look like little tiny miniature lawnmower blades and then just stick it on people's faces for who knows what reason. Yeah. And then we're not really sure what they do with the bodies.
RJ: They showed it for a brief second later on that they're just kind of.
Andrew: Laying there, just stuffing them in other animatronics. But we're not sure where they get the other animatronics because it suggested that the dad's working another job. So I'm not sure where he's got the time to make other animatronics.
RJ: I mean, I guess if you're making phone calls with inside Freddy's, but also.
Andrew: My question is, do you need the full body inside the costume? Because the lady was cut in half later on when they're robbing the place.
RJ: If you look, though, they showed those bodies kind of laying around.
Andrew: Right, but the lady was in a costume.
RJ: Was she?
Andrew: She was.
RJ: She was eaten from inside the costume. Like they saw a hand.
Andrew: Right, because so later in the movie, there's a group of burglars that break in and a lady gets grabbed by a kid's hand pulled into a, ah, freddy's head mouth.
RJ: And they show a shadow of her being cut in half.
Andrew: And they show a shadow of her being cut in half. But later in the movie, they show, what's this face from The Hunger Games finding the bodies. And she's.
RJ: Peter Bren.
Andrew: Peter Bread.
RJ: Peter Bren. Josh Hutchinson. Peter Bread.
Andrew: They find Peter bread. he finds the bodies of them, including her in puppets, like other animatronic bodies, her head sticking out of an animatronic body. Do they need her full body? so are they sticking both halves back together?
RJ: I'm just kind of going with the mood right now.
Andrew: I'm not going to lie, because honestly, I feel like the writers had the same mood.
RJ: I'm going with the writers right now because I don't think they knew what they were doing.
Andrew: I don't think they did either.
RJ: Then you have the side story the whole time. Josh Hutchinson and his little brother gosh.
Andrew: This was the worst idea that I.
RJ: Want to know if that was in the games. Is that a game thing?
Andrew: I don't know. But I also just kind of threw in also feel like maybe they could have cut that entire bit out, but if they did, the movie would be.
RJ: Like 30 minutes, 30 minutes, 40 minutes. Maybe they could have put it in with a better story.
Andrew: Just saying, okay, better movie idea here. They set it up, he's got a new job, security guard. weird stuff's kind of happening, but not really. He comes back night two, some more weird stuff. He sees some puppets, kind of change position, but not much. Okay, cool. And you kind of slowly build that up to whatever night five, or whatever it is.
RJ: Isn't that just the movie Mirrors, then? At that point.
Andrew: I've not seen mirrors.
RJ: You've never seen mirrors?
Andrew: No.
RJ: Keefer, Southerner movie, pretty decent to.
Andrew: The audience, you may not be aware. Wow. Jamie, we're seeing a jackal play poor Square in the back here.
RJ: Anyways, no, Mirrors is a movie where a guy kind of has to kind of I'm pretty sure Night of the Museum probably even drew interest from this. Okay, same thing, sort of. a guy has to watch a abandoned building with a bunch of mirrors in it, and eventually he realizes that there's something on the other side of the mirrors that tries to kill you.
Andrew: Oh, interesting.
RJ: And that is the Keefer Southern Mirrors movie.
Andrew: Is it? Good?
RJ: I'd rather watch that than this.
Andrew: That's a low bar. That's a limbo bar.
RJ: Yeah, but honestly, I'd rather watch mirrors with Keefer, Southern and Cameron boyce.
Andrew: Jeez Louise. But anyways, that security guard dies. Joel, Hutchinson beats up a dad in a mall, because he thought he was kidnapping a kid. But then they go on to explain, basically over the next hour and a half, that his brother was taken away by somebody. And we don't know who, but it's Matthew Lord. And we know that from the get go because it's incredibly obvious. Why would you hire an a list actor for a, extra role?
RJ: You knew he was coming back at some point.
Andrew: You're like, you absolutely knew.
RJ: And they flash his name pretty brightly inside the credits. In the beginning, you're like, yeah.
Andrew: he was like, top billing.
RJ: Yeah. Shaggy do. Here we go. Zoinks. Yeah.
Andrew: anyways, he gets hired and everything. Now he gets hired to work at the place because Shaggy's like, wow, kidnapped your brother. You might like working here.
RJ: I think he is actually thinking about it because he can't get a job now. I think that guy probably hires people who are down and out and can't get a job anywhere.
Andrew: Yeah. But he kind of emphasized the fact that your last name you shared the last name with a guy that I.
RJ: Kidnapped and killed and put inside one of these kids. The creatures I'm surprised they didn't touch on that. Which creature was his brother? Yeah, they never one of them was his brother. At least I was hoping it was a cupcake. They alluded to it.
Andrew: I was hoping it was a cupcake.
RJ: I don't know how you fit the body inside that cupcake.
Andrew: That's what I'm asking. Do you need the full body?
RJ: That must have been a baby.
Andrew: Is it like the ashes? You burn up the ashes some kid and throwing them in a cupcake? No.
RJ: Was it an infant?
Andrew: Oh, boy, we're getting dark here.
RJ: no, I mean, they kind of alluded to that, I guess with the size of Chucky. Chucky's better.
Andrew: There are a lot of movies that are better. Do you want to name our top three horror movies that are better than this?
RJ: Okay.
Andrew: Or any three horror movies that are better than this?
RJ: Any three horror movies that everybody should check out.
Andrew: Okay.
RJ: That people should check out.
Andrew: I'm going to, preface this with I'm not a huge horror movie guy.
RJ: Okay. What's your first one?
Andrew: You go first. Leprechaun a solid pick. We reviewed that previously. Check it out. Came out in March.
RJ: Leprechaun, what you got?
Andrew: boy, you know what? I actually really enjoyed, creep show. Okay.
RJ: Back in the day. 90s.
Andrew: Cool. 80s, actually. It's, Stephen King and, George Romero. Okay.
RJ: I'm going to go with Nightmare on Elm Street. It's number two.
Andrew: Hey, that's a good one. It's a good one. Slasher. I'm going to stick with, anthology films. I want to go with, trick or treat. It's kind of a lightweight horror, but I enjoyed it. Okay.
RJ: I'm going to go with a newer one.
Andrew: Okay.
RJ: US.
Andrew: Okay.
RJ: Check out us. That's a good one, too.
Andrew: Okay. That's very recent.
RJ: I didn't want to go all old school. I wanted to get a little touch of the new school in there and give a high five to us.
Andrew: I got you.
RJ: I mean, I can go on a big list of what to watch.
Andrew: I'm going to go with Halloween three season of The Witch.
RJ: I'm going to go with Halloween town. I'm going to go don't look into the pit.
Andrew: I'm going to go critters. I'm going to go, Gremlins. Gremlins? Yeah. Gremlins.
RJ: Yeah, absolutely gremlins. I'd rather watch Gremlins.
Andrew: That's a Christmas movie, though.
RJ: I'd still rather watch Gremlins.
Andrew: nightmare, before Christmas.
RJ: Yep. Watching that. Definitely.
Andrew: Feel free to flay me, audience, but, I'm not a huge fan of Nightmare on Elm Street.
RJ: And you have been nightmare before Christmas. You know, actually this is the perfect time of the year to watch Beetlejuice. Just watch Beeljuice.
Andrew: Just watch Beetlejuice.
RJ: It really number that's my number one Halloween movie.
Andrew: It is.
RJ: That is always on my list to watch. That is always my Halloween movie.
Andrew: It's tried and true. It's classic.
RJ: I'm excited for Beetlejuice too, actually. It's long overdue.
Andrew: I am too. I'm curious where they're going to take.
RJ: It, but yeah, I'm excited to see what Michael Keaton can do.
Andrew: I love that. We're absolutely avoiding talking about this movie because there's nothing to talk about.
RJ: I mean, there's a bad storyline.
Andrew: There'S half done characters.
RJ: Let's talk about the cop real quick. Let's go into her.
Andrew: Okay, here's my theory.
RJ: Okay.
Andrew: Not a real cop.
RJ: Okay. I feel you. here now.
Andrew: Okay. You never see her in a police station. You never see her in any other situation other than just driving around Freddy's outside of like, this cop supply station. But it's not even a police station. You don't see any other cops in this. Just her in a back room.
RJ: That's fair. You know what, I kind of wonder then at that point? Ah, I feel bad. I actually feel for Josh Hutchinson's character then because he has so many people working against him. He does. Aunt is working against him.
Andrew: Yep. His aunt's trying to take his sister away because he's taking care of him. Yes.
RJ: I just feel terrible. I feel bad for him if this girl was where his girl was actually technically working for her dad for a little bit there. It sounds.
Andrew: That'S just, that's just my takeaway.
RJ: Poor Josh. If that's the case, by golly, it's three people versus one.
Andrew: Okay, so how many people were in this cast? So we got Josh, we got Matthew.
RJ: Lord, we got the cop.
Andrew: We are at the cop lady. We have the babysitter.
RJ: We have the little girl, the sister, aka the sister.
Andrew: We have the aunt, have the aunt. We have the lawyer.
RJ: We have the babysitter's brother and his goons. That's two goons.
Andrew: We're at ten people.
RJ: And then you have, I mean, if you really want to count, you have the little kid that runs away that he thought he got kidnapped in the beginning. And the dad, there.
Andrew: Sure.
RJ: And you have his friend, the security guard friend. In the beginning, they're touch base characters. They don't do anything to the storyline. and then you have the little kids inside the dream. That's five kids.
Andrew: So that's 15 total. Or 16.
RJ: Those kids also have characters technically in the costumes.
Andrew: Yeah, but we're not going to count those because those are technically doubles of the little kits.
RJ: Any other security guard that dies in the beginning, spoiler alert. He dies.
Andrew: Yeah. So you've got minutes. You've got 20 characters, but half of them aren't in most of the movie.
RJ: No, I think you mostly see three characters throughout the movie.
Andrew: You see, three or four. You see the cop lady. You see, potato bread. And you see, the little girl.
RJ: Those are the main three.
Andrew: That's it for 90% of the movie. You see those three.
RJ: Avoid this movie.
Andrew: Jeez. Yes. If your kid is yawning because I'm so bored from this movie, if your.
RJ: Kid is a fan of this movie, you could probably let them watch it. In all honesty.
Andrew: If you watch it with them, it's not scary.
RJ: If you watch it with them, you're probably okay to let them watch it with you.
Andrew: Yeah, maybe we're not the target audience for this, but also they're touching on some pretty weird things. Sticking bodies inside of animatronics and then cutting people in half and stuff.
RJ: I like that theory that that's what they did.
Andrew: The sticking the bodies inside the I.
RJ: Did like that part of the storyline.
Andrew: I did too.
RJ: That was, kind of a dark.
Andrew: But that brings up the question about the cupcake. The cupcake's the size of, like, a basketball.
RJ: That does bring into the question of cupcake.
Andrew: How are you fitting a body in there?
RJ: I'm also a tad bit curious to see what happens to Matthew Lillard's character.
Andrew: Agreed.
RJ: I just want to see because he came in with a booming Spartan kick.
Andrew: Yeah, he did.
RJ: So I kind of want to see what happens to him there.
Andrew: Is he going to possess the little golden bunny thing? Yellow bunny.
RJ: True. That's a good one. That would be interesting to see what he pulls out. I mean it's. Matthew lillard. Shaggy.
Andrew: Do Great actor.
RJ: He is. Crazy actor, actually. He can do a variety of things.
Andrew: He's got a crazy range.
RJ: He does.
Andrew: Shout out to Matthew Miller. Ton of love to that dude.
RJ: Hackers. You see him in hackers.
Andrew: Yeah. Oh, yeah.
RJ: Guy is crazy in hackers. Loved him in hackers. And then he can play somebody who's.
Andrew: Just like straight faced, totally normal.
RJ: Totally normal, I think. Isn't he in School Ties or something like that, too? I think he's in school.
Andrew: Ties? I haven't seen that.
RJ: I believe he's in school. Ties? A straight lace, normal kid.
Andrew: M. Interesting. Matthew
RJ: Lillard crazy range.
Andrew: I'm going to check that out.
RJ: I think he's in idle hands, too. He's in a lot of stuff.
Andrew: Most importantly, scooby. Doo. And Scooby Doo, too.
RJ: Actually, he's pretty normal, too. Twin Peaks, without a paddle.
Andrew: Yeah, I forgot about that.
RJ: He's pretty normal without a paddle.
Andrew: Yeah. All right.
RJ: Well, I think we're probably about the.
Andrew: Time yeah, let's just jump into the final thoughts here. you go first.
RJ: Five, nine so I was thinking of one, two freddie to come in for you. Three, four you better lock your doors.
Andrew: Okay.
RJ: Five, six m might want to grab your crucifix. Seven, eight, stay up late.
Andrew: Better movie.
RJ: 910. Never sleep again Better movie. Actually, no, I'm probably going to lean more towards a five, for this movie.
Andrew: Really?
RJ: I'm going to stay towards a five. I think that the idea of a kid going I mean, from the dark side of this movie, of a kid going inside a costume or animatronic getting possessed and possessing it, that's kind of enticing. And then the ending of Matthew Lillard and seeing what he's going to do, that was also kind of an enticing thing. But the rest of the movie I could do without.
Andrew: I completely agree. I'm going to give this movie a.
RJ: To I'm going to continue for a second here.
Andrew: That's okay.
RJ: 1 second. 1 second.
Andrew: I'm going to let you finish, but hold on.
RJ: I'm going to let you finish. But Taylor Swift had the better album. No, I'm just fudge Taylor Laudner.
Andrew: Come your do you say fudge taylor?
RJ: Fudge taylor Laudner.
Andrew: I can't read that. Jackal, what are you holding up?
RJ: She's saying Cotton head, and I'm going.
Andrew: To have to bleep that out.
RJ: You ever watched Elf? Know what you know? Anyways, I m think that the first little bit of the movie kind of gets you for a second, because you're waiting for that never it never comes.
Andrew: It never, ever comes.
RJ: It never comes. But the first night at Freddy's, you're like, what's going to happen the first night?
Andrew: Maybe two nights are the best.
RJ: The first two nights, you're like, oh. The second night, you're like, okay. You're like, okay. If the cop comes into the love.
Andrew: Story, what's going to happen?
RJ: Then the third night, the daughter gets involved, and you're like, okay, this is where we're going to get the movie really going. This is where the scares are going to come.
Andrew: And that's exactly where the movie goes down.
RJ: And you're like, oh, they like her. Oh, they're friends with her. Oh, she's excited to go back. Okay, well, hopefully when she goes back, things are going to get dark. And no, they don't get dark. They get brighter. So, after that, that's why I would say you can watch it with your kids. It might be child friendly. I'd still say it's kind of along the lines of if your kid has played this game, you can watch it or you can watch it. I think I'd say if your kid has played five nights at Fredy's, you're probably safe to watch it with them because they've probably seen all this crap. So let them watch.
Andrew: Yeah. I've never played this game, but I'm guessing, like, you're six, you're seven, there's.
RJ: Nothing too scary about it. At worst, they might hop into your bed after visiting Chuck E. Cheese.
Andrew: Yeah, but really, it's not scary. It's not at all scary. There's episodes of Wishbone that are scarier than this.
RJ: There's episodes of Honey I shrunk.
Andrew: The kids are scarier than this. Episodes of Magic School Bus that are scarier than this.
RJ: There's episodes of actually, Care Bears. There's Care Bears episodes that are scarier than that.
Andrew: Honestly. Yeah. I'm giving this movie a three. It did not deliver on anything. I'm not quite sure I was expecting. I've never played the game, so I don't know what the story in the game is. So maybe if you're a heavy gamer and this kind of matched, that, awesome. But I was expecting more of like a tense atmosphere that kind of build up of like, are we sure they're moving? Are we not sure they're moving? That kind of stuff. And we get that on the first two nights, and then it turns into them sneaking around with the moving animatronics on the last night, and the rest of it's just them building like a fort and being friends and dancing around. And they reveal to you, they reveal way too early that the animatronics move and are sentient and all that stuff. And they also lean way too much into Hutchinson's, little brother, his little brother being kidnapped. There's so much of the movie that's just the same scene over and over and over again. And I get what they were trying to do, and it feels like that story was done for a different movie. that another movie was canceled and that it was just brought into this rather than this being part of some cohesive story that just blends together. Like, this just did not fit. And they spent so much time on the scene of him just trying to what face is that.
RJ: If you separated the two? Like, if you separated a story where Josh Hudson had to go into his dreams to figure out his child or his brother's kidnapper, and then he made another one with an animatronics and everything. Yeah, those might be two better movies.
Andrew: Exactly. They just spent too much time with Josh. Peter Bread, his side story, which was really the main story of this, and we don't get any resolution. They build up. They're like, oh, this dude killed my brother. But then what happened to the brother? He stuffed other kids into the animatronics where the police would never find him. But where is the brother?
RJ: He's in Kakafil.
Andrew: Where is the brother if he's not in these four animatronics? Where is he? And it's never resolved. We spend so much time on a plot that isn't resolved and isn't tied up. Kaka and then as far as the other plot, as far as, like, watching the place, we have a break in in the first 30 minutes of the movie, which is also kaka, and we see the burglars kind of being kaka, killed in the tamest way. And then that's it.
RJ: That's it.
Andrew: There's nothing here but kaka. It's a three out of ten for me. It's a solid three out of ten.
RJ: All right, well, Andrew, where can they find us?
Andrew: they can find us anywhere. Where you find podcasts? That's Apple podcasts spotify. pandora's Box. Apple podcasts. Google Podcasts. deweyzer pornhub.com.
RJ: Okay. And we gotta bleep that up. That's okay.
Andrew: but yeah, you can find us anywhere. You can find us on Instagram at the backseat. Critics you can find us on Twitter at the backseat. Critics you can find us on, Facebook at the Backseat Critics.
RJ: We just out here being the Backseat Critics. And, with that being said, we out. We are out.
Andrew: Catch us next week when we review.
RJ: Something that's not too much cocka.
Andrew: All right, we know with this, we out.
RJ: Never get this guy again.